Building Confidence in Young Players
I’ve been emailed recently about confidence in young players and how a coach can build that up. My first thoughts always go back to my roots growing up and being coached by a different array of personalities. I found the best way to work with young kids is to find the way that best motivates that kid. Here’s an example:
I’m the type of player that thrives on negative feedback or being told that I’m not good enough at something. I take that as a challenge to be better. If a coach is telling me something that I need to work on then I’m going to do whatever I can to get better at it. They can call me names, call my mom names and whatever and I’ll try to prove them wrong.
Other players thrive under positive situations and need to be told constantly all the things they are doing right. Players like this absolutely shrink when they are hammered over and over about negative things. These players tend to quit and 10 years later say lines like “I would’ve played in high school but the coach hated me”. The coach doesn’t hate people, the coach just didn’t know that this player didn’t respond to negative feedback.
I counsel all coaches to take the time to interview each kid and find out what motivates them and how they like to be talked to and then have an open team discussion about it so the team knows that some kids want to be pushed by negatives and others with positives and that you aren’t showing favorites.
As a player that needs confidence building, this will only come from practice and being successful. If you are deficient at something then get better at it. Simply watching and wishing doesn’t make anyone a better player.
January 26th, 2011 at 4:50 pm
I am the mother of a 14 year old girl who is playing varsity with her highschool team. In the last few months, we have identified areas where improvement was needed and we have sought out the additional coaching. Our team has dwindled down from 10 players to 6. In a recent game, five of the girls played the entire game and one player (my daughter) sat on the sidelines the entire game. She doesn’t miss practice and goes to a skills coach twice a week. During the game, one of the girls who doesn’t come to practice regularly, had a tech called on her for un-sportsmanlike conduct. Even after that, she was allowed to continue playing in the game. After the game, I asked the coach why my daughter did not play? He told me that he went with the five girls that he thought would allow him to win the game. I then asked him, what is the message that you are sending to the girls? My daughter walked away feeling like the coach didn’t have confidence in her ability to contribute to the team. When I told him that his comment to me was that “it was not his concern if one of his players thought he had confidence in them” I asked him was he kidding? These young ladies want to perform for you so that you have confidence in them. How is that not important?” I walked away angry and dissapointed. I don’;t always have to agree but I believe that I have to be supportive. I have lost all of my confidence in this coach not only as a coach but as anyone who has a clue on how they are impacting the lives of young ladies. Am I missing something or doesn’t confidence and trust directly impact motivation?
January 26th, 2011 at 5:16 pm
of course it does. You aren’t missing anything. Frankly some people aren’t cut out to be coaches and that’s it. My daughter currently has a horrible teacher in grade school and it isn’t good for her. When situations like this come up we have a couple choices…do you sit back and watch it happen or do you try to do something about it?
You are doing the right thing by getting her with a skills coach and all of that will pay off. Try to schedule a calm face to face with the coach where feelings can be expressed and you’ll understand all sides a little better. I often tell the kids themselves to go talk to the coach and find out what they can be doing differently to get playing time. coaches would rather hear it from the kids than the parents.